Jesus Freak ;)

Yay! I really did a lot today. I started off the day really tired and cranky and the only thing i wanted to do was go back to sleep! I never really got to go back to sleep and my lazy ass finally got up at like 12:00pm and did my household duties that were neglected yesterday because I took my kids to a bowling birthday party for my friend Melanie's daughter Cataleena. It was really fun, got a lot of good family moments on the new camcorder! The kids had a great time, and I notice as they get older that it's easier for them to enjoy things like this. I have been spending a lot of bonding time with my kids this past week. I love it cause I feel like I am learning so much more about them and thier personalities. We have been having a really good time just hanging out reading books, digging dirt, singing, dancing like fools!! I also got an awesome bonus gift bag from Clinique courtesy of my shopoholic friend Katherine!! THANK YOU KATHERINE :) You'll see what's in the bag in a haul video with the E.L.F. stuff that I ordered two days ago. What an exciting week! As a young family it's easy to struggle and fall into the pits of depression due to being broke and constanly working only to hand everything over to continue living a decent life. If I had to do this the rest of my life to provide for my family I would do it over and over cause I love my little family, but it really sucks. Latley I have been feeling like I am at the cusp of something wonderful. I don't know what it is. I don't know why I feel this way.... but I feel like I have a new lease on life! I pray everyday and I feel like it really has improved my life in so many ways. I know that someone might come across this and think "Jesus Freak".... well I don't care. This is my lifestyle and I never inforce my thoughts or beliefs on other people. Either way... a lot of things have just started falling into place. Before I always had this empty hope that as a family we would have everything we wanted out of life. I always wanted it... but secretly I never really believed that it was going to happen. But now it's different.... it's changed. Wether it's my new positive outlook sending good vibes out into the universe or maybe God truly has a plan for me, I don't know, but all I know is that I am feeling good. The things that are going on in my life are kind of going on all by it's self. I feel like before I was struggling, I was stressed and unhappy... and now it's like lighter and freer and I dont know it just feels really good. I am appreciating things and loving things I never thought about before. So with this new lease on life I want to try (yet again) to lose this last bit of weight. I need to lose about 25lbs to get to my lovely goal of highschool weight. A lot of people think that it's crazy especially when they look at me and are like that's a lot of weight your gonna look to skinny... your gonna look wierd.... but it's like.... I USED TO BE THAT WEIGHT.... I LOOKED AWESOME compared to what I feel and look like now.... why can't I be that weight again? It isn't like I am aiming for something crazy something I have never been. People telling me they don't think it's realistic just makes me want to prove those people wrong. You aren't telling me that it's impossible for someone to be that weight, your telling me I CAN'T DO IT! Even if that's not what they meant... that's what I hear! So the weight loss begins tomorrow. Well I have been watching how much I eat the past few days already, but tomorrow I will actually excercise and eat even healthier. Can't wait.... I have been inspired by so many people on youtube following the progress and challanges they face. I feel like it is preparing me for what's to come. *ILOVEGERARDO on youtube is doing so well, even if it's a slow and steady race.... you are inspiring girl THANK YOU*